SanPaPor

I m currently un-contactable online due to some arsehole hacking into my email and FB. I m trying to get the problem solved .

One bad thing led to another bad thing. M running a 38.9deg fever. resting at home and ntink to do. Sigh.

The past few days, i've heard alot of rumors abt mi. Y cant ppl's mouth just shut up? And have to spread those stupid and senseless rumors abt mi?

If the rumor spreader is a gurl, i hope u get herps. And u rot in hell. If the rumor spreader is a guy, i hope ur package down there wont get any erection when u want them to, thus, failing to have any bedroom activities. And u too, will get to rot in hell.

Totally sick of those fartards.

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=))

I shld do alittle of dusting ard here. Alot of happenings for the past few mths. I am not really ready to talk abt some things. Do give me time, and i will blog more abt that.

I m feeling nervous now, abt tml. super nervous. But wish me luck.

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I am so looking forward for a freaking holiday.

有时候， 想靠一些人，但那个人却又自私的只顾自己。真的感觉得很无乃。什么时候，我才能松一口气。

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Abit not my usual self. Perhaps due to some recent happenings. Furthermore, BOTH my parents are sick. Been calling my  mum to check on her and and getting cough relief lozenges for them .

-.-

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Abit sian of my tues and thurdays. Have to travel all the way to HM to take some course. Sick of it, man.

For 3 freaking weeks .

-.-

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I am pissed , sore , angry , upset and every kind of angry emotion combined into one. Why ?  My same birthday wish for the past 5 years have been dashed again. I've nv seen such irresponsible person in my life who wont discuss anything to the parents and do not even know what's happening in the family.

Pls, keep that in mind that u stil have ur parents to respect. Talking is cheap, i can do that too. What is lacking here, is the actions.

My birthday wish is to travel overseas with friends or my partner during my birthday period. It have been a freaking long 5 years since i made that wish on my 19th birthday. But everytime, something will cocked up. So, i delayed.

This year, i thought i could do that, coz my leave have been planned. My parents are going overseas during that period, and i thought, if i m able to have a short getaway with my partner on my birthday, i will be the happiest birthday gurl in the world. That'll leave my sis to take care of the house and my bro.

When i got home from work today, my mum told me, my sis is going overseas too. On the same date that they r going to leave for china. My dad was telling me how displeased he was. My mind went blank. And then emotions charged thru my mind, threatening to explode .

I held back . I am furious. Who will take care of the house and my bro? It's not that my bro is stil young, but to entrust him to be alone for so long, is not a wise thing to do. There things, sometimes, i wishes to do, but i know, my parents wont like that, so, i didnt do it.

I RESPECT them.

If you nv think abt others, why the hell must i think of u and help u ?

Think abt it. My thinking is always the same as my dad. I m sticking with wat he said just now. And deep in my heart, i hope that it can come true.

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Karma, baby.

I am jetting off tml ! Yes ! yes ! yes ! Shopping spree !! I am happy in one hand but is unhappy on the another. Why?

Coz, there are some people in the family who is totally irresponsible in some things. Resulted in my dad nagging to me. Yes, there're some paperwork dat she nid to help us do, but, doing it the last min is not the way to do it. Yet, when she needed help with it, called me or my bro, we cant find the stuffs, we got "niao-ed" by her .

HELLLLLOOOOOO !!! Those are FUCKING IMPT stuffs ( to my dad ) , of coz he kept it in a safe place or it's with him, for fuck u come n niao us when we cant find it at home. Abit off, right ? When things dont go ur way, u turn the tables around and blame us instead.

How long does my dad not seen her face and talk to her ? 1 week.

I do not wish to say much, but i do wish, things can improve. What i canot understand is, where and how would one people find so much places to go 346 days and only coming back home at 1+ am in the morning ?

倒不如，嫁了算了。 你把我们的家当成什么 ？

I'm back from Genting with TheFren. Hehe. The trip was paid for by his troupe. It's a retreat for them for working hard for the whole year. Hehehe. It was pretty fun. I was being "ïntroduced" to his troupe mates and cousins when we gathered at Golden Mile. They know my presence but nv seen me in person ( only a few does ) .

I am not active in his troupe outings as i dont want to kind of hinder him in the things he have so much passion abt. Let him do watever he wants and love without bothering him.

In the meantime, i can do my own stuffs ! But sometimes, it can take a toll on me though. =.=

Anyway, the trip was fun (to me ) coz it's was with TheFren!  Laughter were aplenty. We tried archery. I tell u, aft about 15 arrows, my left arm was aching like hell. LOL !!!  And yes, when i went into the Casino, i was being asked for my ID card. -.-

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I m looking forward to CNY, my BKK trip. =D

2009 is not a good year for me, regardless of work, family, relationship, it had nv been smooth-sailing.

I remembered when i was stil in CP working during the peak season of 2008, i asked for a 2days leave for some praying with my family in Malaysia. Coz 2009 is the year of Ox, and i m borned in the year of Ox, it will somehow clashed. So, in order to have a smooth sailing year in 2009, my mum persuaded me to get leave on the "peak-est" month of all, dec, to visit the temple and pray. My in-charge was ok with it. But my office rejected my request.

I am not a very keen religious person, but when to come to this kind of praying for a smooth year, i wont hesitate to do it, to ensure i hav the best. And i m quite "ban-tang" at this type od things.

So, can i now blame them for not granting my request?  *rolling eyes*

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Memories, no matter how big or small, can be etch itself to our brain. Images, scenery, conversations, words, can be "stored"into the brain.

I still can remember the 1st time i met N . I was late, and he needed to use the toilet beri urgently. It was hilarious.

I remembered the chocolaty water-falls in Vietam, though the colour is disgusting, but it is stil breath-taking.

I remembered the day my granny was nearly gone, it made me shudders now, thinking of it.

I remembered the harsh words, lashing out at me on other ppl's blogs. So bad, that i cursed and swear-ed at those people that they themselves wont have any good endings.

I remembered TheFren buying flowers for me, twice. On my bday and vday.

Somehow, the "stored memories" in me amazed me. It brought a smile to me whenever i tot abt somebody or something nice.

But the bad ones, no matter how hard i try, to erase them from my memory drive, i am unable to. And they continue to haunt me.

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In the year 2010, i wish, I can be more happier. Happier than what i am now. Happier than those ppl who wan to see me go down.

Throwing awy the memories of 2009 is a start to a better 2010.

Cheers to that !

I havent been blogging coz i m god damn busy with work . As i had mentioned in my FB before, my working hours now sucks big time. It's from 10am to a freaking 11pm. As our shop is located on the 4th floor, by 10pm, there's NO PPL walking ard there coz the neighbouring shops closes at 9.30pm or 10pm.

It's fucking stupid to wait there, staring in space waiting for 11pm to come. and the 4th floor looks empty. When telling customers our opening hours, they exclaimed that we are poor things to work till so late.

The managements are so screwed up !!

I reached home abt 12am aft knocking at 11pm. My bus was so crowded dat i had to stand for 25mins from town back to jurong. And the fare is not cheap, mind you.

It's sick la, working for that miserable salary and working the long hours. Come on, MOM law is 44hrs of work every week !! And how much have i clocked? I do not want to fucking count it. Colleagues from other outlets come and visited us, agreed that we are indeed working for too long a day.

Sick, fucking sick of all these. My parents, i havent really see them and talk to them for nearly two weeks !

I do have a family, and i care abt my family. So, wat the point of staying with them under the same roof and NOT TALKING OR SEE THEM FOR TWO BLARDY WEEKS !

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You know, the only wish i have for Christmas is, To be happy. Looking all all of these things that happened, i doubt it will come true for a llloooooooong time.

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I m counting down the days and couldnt wait for that particular day to come.

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I stil believes in "What comes ard, goes ard " . People who make my life miserable will get what they will get.

Karma, baby, karma.

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N is being beri nice, wanting me to update him on my life. I once cried in front of him coz i couldnt take the pressure anymore. It's comforting to cry it out loud, really.

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Yay !! I dont need to go back to my gyne every 6mths liao !! The next appointment will be one year from now !! Wooo Hoooo ~!!! Sibei happy !

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I hurt my back. Hmmm, sprained it, i guess. Coz it hurts whenever i coughs ( yes, i m STILL coughing ) , and when i bend forward to retrieve things from the ground.

I guess i bend too much over at the roadshow i was working last week. The counter table was a tad too low for my height and i have to keep bending to write and use the cashier. It got so bad dat at some times when i coughs too much, i got to hold my hand against the wall to support myself.

-.-

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Having two off days are not enuff !!!!!! Give me 1mth !!!!

I m going to get a new desktop soon, i tell u. I cant bear to keep hitting my CPU (which i have been doing for MONTHS ) everytime it dies on me. Oh man, the agony, the pain i have to suffer in the hands of my old computer. Arghhhh, i cant stand it anymore !!!

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My mood is terrible this few days, TheFren is always the one at the receiving end of my endless tantrums. I is beri surprised that he's not pissed at me. =X He's pretty patience to me. Driving me home when i complained and flared up at him. Teehee, my baby loves me !

His birthday is round the corner, and it's a sad thing that i m unable to celebrate with him coz of my work . But i am planning something. =DDD

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My shingles are healing and it god damn itchy !!!!

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Normally, do u see pregnant woman wear covered shoes? I thought pregnant women normally cant wear covered shoes coz their feet will be swollen ? And they normally wear slips-in or slippers, dont they ?

Maybe, ppl who never get pregnant will nv know the feelings of how a pregnant woman will feels. *rolls eyes*

Seeing how PY's legs were swollen that time, i is alittle scared of getting married !!!

There are one thing in life which i hate contracting. The word is "Shingles". How i hate this fucking virus, man !!! I got this whenever i am stressed up . It is not appropriate to say the reasons here , so pls pardon me on that.

I didnt realise i got shingles till i scratch my butt coz it happens to itch, and VOILA !!!! The reddish shingles greet me with its full glory of reddish colour and swelling, somemore. My immune system is down too, due to my cough. It was actually getting better but it worsen aft a trip down to ikea with my bro.

An appointment is a must with my doc at JE central. Damn sian !!! I hate the cough too.

ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH !!!!

Wooooh, it had been a very eventful past few weeks for me, man. For my past 4 off days, 3 off days were spent in JB, went in with different friends to shop, sing and stuffed our face silly with the good and CHEAP food there.

Deli came back from the states to stay for a couple of weeks and he'll be flying off tml. We met up with rach, norvin and his air stewardess gf. =P It was drizzling slightly when i alighted. And i walked home without an brolly. And then i got sick. =/

It been a week and then now, i have been coughing non-stop and eventually, my voice left me. I am practically croaking now. -.-

I went to the doc, he gave me MC to rest my throat, told me, if i dont get it treated early, i will be coughing up blood the next time round. So, now i am resting at home, using baby's lappy. hehehehe.

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I hate to say this, but sometimes, i do think that baby is somewhat good looking in some ways. Okok, i know it's gross la, and i seldom praise him for being good-looking. But when he passed me his lappy during noon today, he was wearing my Levis cap, sunnies and white polo tee, he look gooooooood. =DDDD

Pssst, don ever tell him i blog abt him being good looking, he will be beri hao lian.

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WHEN CAN I GET MY VOICE BACK !!!  I miss my voice beri much. haiz.

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I am not complaining. But, my personal belongings often got missing whenever i fucking needs them the most . And you know where i can find them ? Arrrrrggghhhh !!!!!!

 *threw hands up in exasperation*  

A black shorts if mine which i haven wore them for a long time, found their way into the laundry TWICE ! Ghost month, the ghost have been wearing my shorts without my knowing.

Hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it !!!!!

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Howdy, pple  !! I was nearly sick ytd. I fought back a fever that threatens to erupt. =)) If i have got a fever, i tell you, i m sure the temperature is sky high. Recap on my past activities .

- Went to Gold Class Vivo with Bestie to watch " The Proposal " . TheFren wanted me to learn something frm the file. Pppphhhfffttt..

- PY is preggy !!!

- Struggling to hold the reins of the pressure of work . And someone.

- Made a Teachers' Day card for Bestie and snail mailed to her.

- Went Natas fair and "reunited" with a part-timer whom i haven seen in ages !! Miss you loads, gal !!

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Bus Driver's birthday is round the corner. I m racking my brains on what to get him. =.=

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Fisherman said he's getting a hayabusa. I made him promise to make me his first pillion. =DDD

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Going to the zoo with bestie and LiJun this coming weekend .. Hohoho.. The animals love me. =P

TheFren and i kiss and make up after 2 mths. Exact details, i would not disclose here so as not to bore you to death . Anyway, we are meeting up and talking on the fon as often as we can. =))

I is seriously glad that i made that phone call and thrashed things out with him .

Shopping at Ikea to get the roller chair that i want and some other stuffs, we then proceed to vivo for dinner and movies. Did i mentioned that i was transferred yet again ? This time round, to Vivo. =/

I love my new roller chair. Wheee ~~

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Bestie and i dined at Swishotel The Stamford last wed to celebrate her bday. We had a fun time filling my tummies and even more fun time in the ladies after that. Fwahahahha !! Photos are already up at FB .

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I "shifted house" again. Feeling abit shitty, as we hav to re-get used to the people, system, everything. I was on MSN the other with YZ, he mentioned that working now at a new place with new people, dont feel as fun as what we have last time .

I totally agrees with him. Damn sian . Really .

没有一个属于自己的地方, 感觉就好像是一个飘浮不定的叶子.

一旦被风一吹, 就会飘到一个无边无界的地方.

感觉...... 好累, 好倦.

咳 ~

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My mum kept nagging to me abt a certain thing while i was at home for the weekend. I was not the main character of the issue she was nagging to me abt, to which, i feel that it's unfair for me to get all the fucking nagging and i HAVE TO SWALLOW the anger that was rising in me.

I raised my voice alittle, explaining, i m not the one she shld be nagging to, and i walked off.

I am not that one that comes home late every night, sometimes, not coming home and that someone whom my parents only saw only perhaps TWICE every week even though we stay under the same roof !

I am sick of it, really . I've done my part and i am not going to the the silent one, taking in all the scoldings and nagging which i am not accounted for .

Fuck it, alright  ?  _I_

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My things at home :

People use , spoilt. Repairs ? Leonica Teo pays .

When will all this irresponsible things and actions stop ?

There's really a limit to my patience . 

其实我早已关了电脑,准备要睡了. 但 , 躺在被窝里, 心, 是杂乱的.

我怕我撑不下去. 怎么办 ?

在宁静的夜晚, 为了我们之间的事 , 我忍不住, 哭了. 泪水不停的从眼角落下. 一方面好想时光倒流, 另一方面, 好想放弃.

可能是大姨妈要报道了, 所以感情比较丰富.

哭了一场后, 心情舒畅了许多.

哭 - 是我唯一的解压的一个方式.

我会没事的. 请不要为我担心 .

=))  

You know what ? When CW asked me what's up with my "heal my world" msn heading, i was stumped . I couldn't find words to explain the feelings i have within . I tot long and hard before answering him , " it's hard to explain " .

He offered comfort . =))

I am feeling really lost. In terms of work, relationship .

I dropped obvious hints to PY that i might leave in the near future , i see no point in remaining. Like i said, a part of me died when jurong entertainment centre shuts it door . Feels like somewhat a football, being kicked from outlets to outlets.

Yes, u can say, gain more experiences in the meantime, get to know more friends, blah blah blah. The passion i have for my job frizzled out. Don't know when did it happen . I am holding on still. Perhaps i might change my mind, i don't know.

*shrugs*

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For TheFren , i have one word for myself.

忍 .

SZ commented , i m in training to be a ninja. Well, in life, things that happens, somewhat makes u a half ninja, don't they ?

=))

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I am looking on the brighter side. I can do it.

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People all around the world are mourning for the shocking loss of the legend - King Of Pop, Michael Jackson.

When i first read news that the King Of Pop ( KOP ) passed away, i was abit stunned. There are previous hoax that said Andy Lau passed away too. But then, i read it in a local newspaper, so i reckon it should be true.

MJ was to us as what Theresa Teng was to my parents' generation. Although there are much controversy he was embroiled in, he is still the icon for the world of music.

How i love his moonwalk dance and the crotch-grabbing dance moves. One of a kind. The radio stations are paying their tribute to this KOP over and over again today, playing the hits of his.

He was the pop legend in the music industry and no one, can replace him.

May the King Of Pop rest in peace. Ur music will live with us.

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Disclaimer : What i am abt to say, might be alittle offensive. If i do offends any of my readers, i apologise.

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As i often take public buses to work, i hate sharing seats with people. As in, i m seating inside, and another person takes up the seat next to me, near the aisle. Most of the incidents, happens only with foreigners working / touring in sg. I believe i am really considerate to shift my ass as near to the side as possible, to make sure that there are ample space for the person to sit beside me. What i cannot stand most is, they took advantage of it and shift even closer to me.

Demmit. I hate the feeling of a stranger's arm or hip to come in contact with me. It makes me beri irritated, prompting me to fidget and squirm throughout the whole journey. I often throw them dirty looks and i was really in a cramp position and they stil force me to face-plant the window.

How considerate !! Even while standing on a crowded bus, when the bus jammed brake alittle, i can feel the ass of the person standing behind touching my ass.

I guess i couldnt complain much, after all, it's a public bus. I wish ppl who did dat to me, have piles.

=/

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My mum expressed her disappointment in me just a few minutes ago regarding an errand that i need to run for my dad. I was pretty pissed off as she TOTALLY shifted the blame on me.

The story goes like this , ( part 1 )

Dad ask me buy med of 3mths supply, gives me some money, not enough, top it up for him ---- I forget to bring it out as i was in a rush of time ---- Called back home to ask my bro to bring it to me at a designated place ---- Sis offered to get it on the behalf of me ---- Didnt answered the phone call she made to me ---- Replied her call 45 mins late ---- She only got 1 mth supply as the nurse told her not enough for 3mths ---- Never mind .

( Part 2 )

While dad's showering , mum talks to me ---- Dad was taunt by the nurse there regarding him wana buy 3 mths of med using just 50bucks ---- Offended, dad told mum about it and nagged abt it ---- Said he wont ask his children to do this kind of errand as we didnt do a good job ---- Mum gets more and more pek chek after i told her the whole thing ---- She conclude the whole fault is mine ---- Congratulations to me .

Life sucks, doesnt it ?

There's lots of things going on for me and she added more to it.

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I have been thinking abt some matters seriously. I spoke with Jas and told her my plans. I've been having this thought for half a year already. I am giving myself time till early 2010.

And I believe, given the years, i proved myself worthy.

I cant possibly stay on when people dont sees the star that shines in me.

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